Deadly Sincere

When did sincerity replace truth?
How did niceness take the
Place of honesty?

We are a generation seeking to please.
We want to fit in,
Be accepted,
Leave no one behind.
Our days are spent watching what we say,
Being politically correct,
Trying to be inclusive.

These noble aspirations
Are killing us.
Our spirits are suffocating
In earnestness.
Choking on pleasantry.

The allure is strong.
Our fawning nature compels
Us to seek assurance
And validation.
We've missed the whole point.

Happiness comes from within.
This isn't just a trite
Saying my mother used to
Comfort me with when I was
Sad, dejected and crying.
This is truth.

Within is the key point there.
We need to stop depending
On each other to be happy.
That dependence has led
To a world of wimps and losers.
People who write books,
And have talk shows about
Niceness and decency.

Give me passion and expression.
Honesty and forthrightness.
If they aren't happy,
Let them say it.
If they are happy, let them show it.
Quit trying to smooth it over
And soften the edges.
With billions of people in the
World, you have billions of
Withins.
Stop trying to make them all
The same.

Just fucking be!
Worry about your own goddamn happiness.

Fat

Bubbling, boiling, rolling,
Shuddering, blubbering,
Jiggling, dangling, gelatinous,
Poochy, bouncy, globbulous,
Pliant, bulbuous, lumpy,
Soft, squishy, unctuous,
Greasy, slimy, blimpy,
Beefy, husky, meaty.

It goes on and on.

The mind of someone fat.
These words, and the power
They have over you.
The lack of control to stop it.

People say "just stop."
I want to punch those people
In the face.
Who the fuck do they think
They are?
Skinny little shits.

You don't know, unless you've
Been there.

So, how do I end this?

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

Sunday Afternoon

And then one Sunday Afternoon,
It all changes.
subtly. Only you really know.
It's cold and clear.
Sunny.
A perfect backdrop for this event.

The change isn't something that
Propels you forward,
In fact, it takes you backwards.
To youth, childhood, innocence.
Things you thought you'd
Lost.

Was it a decision? A realization?
Or something else.
Revelation. Inspiration.
Fate.
Do I even believe in fate?

;-)

Maybe, maybe not.

All I know is that I'm different.
Clean. Absolved. Ready.
Possibility before me.
I've wandered through the
Darkness. I can't tell if
I'm coming out unscathed yet.
In fact, there are some scars
From deep wounds.

With realization comes a call
To action.
What happens now?
How do I break out of the circle
Of familiarity and destruction?

I'll start, with a haircut.

Eyes Closed - A Meditation

A bright sunburst in my head.
I drift in and out.
The breeze on my face and neck.
I'm three dimensional.
My mind stretches in front and behind
My head.
The door, the hallway,
The apartment below, the roof,
The street, the sky,
The subway, the river, the
Park.

I reach out and try to sense
The lives in-between.
The lights, the pulse,
The living essence,
The bright, light infused,
Blood coursing through
The veins of the city.
I watch, absorb, renew,
observe.

Inside again.
The light.
Bright.
White.
A cliche, but a cleansing
Cliche.
A place of nothing
And everything.
Gray and silver forms
Take shape.
Cross-legged on a mountain of
Soft slate and scree.
Silver waterfalls around me.
Leaves and blades of grass
So green that they're silver
Sway slightly in the
Light breeze.

I see the world around.
I expand and become a part
Of the mountain.
Once more three dimensional
I become part of the
Earth below.
I stretch to the heavens,
I embrace the world.
I float in the womb of
The universe,
And hold the immensity
Of life in my own center,
Cradling and holding
It in precious balance.

The world my child.
I it's mother-father,
Nourisher and teacher,
Learning and giving,
Taking and sharing.

Symbiosis and balance.
Peace and power.
Tranquility and awareness.